i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
