ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
