i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I have demons in me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
