i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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