dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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