if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He shit in the fireplace
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize