take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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