Please, let me fuck your mom
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
