Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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