that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
