i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
