that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
