I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
