let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my being single is dangerous.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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