I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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