So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i think im in europe. pls send help
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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