Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
