I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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