I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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