dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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