Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
