I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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