Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
