When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
