Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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