You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
