why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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