last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
