Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
