you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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