I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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