Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
