so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
