My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
