I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
