Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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