I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
