Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
