Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wish I only lived at night.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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