Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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