Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
