I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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