I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
