Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize