I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
