I wanna bring you to show and tell
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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