Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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