mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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