I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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