Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
