so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There are leaves in my underwear?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
