I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
