someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
