She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
