i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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