But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My ATM looks so different sober.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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