oh god the rape fog is back!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
