went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
