I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
