you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
