I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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