we're blogging at a bar
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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