Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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